Stop! How am I supposed to prove myself a hero, if nobody will give me a chance?" You'll get your chance. Phil." What are you, crazy? Sheesh." A women said" Young man, we need a professional hero, not a amateur." Well, wait. Hey, nice job on those heels! Ya missed a spot!" I got your heel right here! I'll wipe that stupid grin off your face! You-." Hey, Phil! Phil! Phil! Take it easy. This we need." That's a laugh." Don't you pea brains get it?" Hmm?" This kid is the genuine article." Hey, isn't that the goat-man who trained Achilles?" Watch it, pal." A guy said" Yeah, you're right. Uh, not exactly, but I-" Have you ever reversed a natural disaster?" Well, uh, no." A guy said" Oh, listen to this. It, uh, seems to me that what you folks need is a hero." Yeah, and who are you?" Hercules said" I'm Hercules, and, uh, I happen to be a hero." Is that so?" A hero!" Have you ever saved a town before?" Hercules said" Uh, no. It seems like every time I turn around, there's some new monster wreaking havoc and I-" All we need now is a plague of locusts." Everyone screaming and A guy said" That's it! I'm movin' to Sparta!" Excuse me. I remember." But before the flood." Don't even get me started on the crime rate." Thebes has certainly gone downhill in a hurry." A guy said" Tell me about it. You're gonna be just what the doctor ordered." It was tragic! We lost everything in the fire." Everything, except old Snowball here." Now, were the fires before or after the earthquake?" A lady said" They were after the earthquake. That's because they live in a city of turmoil. Hey, Mack." Whos, whoa, whoa!" A man said" You wanna buy a sundial?" He's not interested, all right? Come on, kid." The end is coming! Can't you feel it?"Phil said" Yes, yes. This city is a dangerous place." A guy said" Look where you're goin' numbskull!" Hey, I'm walkin' here! You see what I mean? I'm tellin' you: wackos." Pita bread. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere. Fortunately for the three of you, we still have time to correct this rather egregious oversight.And this time, no foul-ups." In the town of Thebes, Hercules said" Wow! Is that all one town?" One town, a million troubles. We can still cut on his waltzing." Panic said" That's right! And-and-and at least we made him mortal. Weren't those your exact words?" This might be a different Hercules" Yeah! I mean, Hercules is a very popular name nowadays!" Pain said" Remember, like, a few years ago, every other boy was named Jason, and the girls were all named Brittany?" I'm about to rearrange the cosmos, and the one schlemiel who can louse it up is waltzing around in the woods!" Pain said" Wait. Wasn't Hercules the name of that kid were supposed to-." Oh, my gods!" Run for it!" Hades said" So you took care of him, huh? Dead as a door nail. He comes on with this big, innocent farm boy routine, but I could see though that in a Pelponnesian minute." Wait a minute. Um, maybe we owe him money?" Hades said" What was that name again?" Hercules. It was this wonderboy, Hercules." Hercules? Why does that name ring a bell?" I don't know. So, instead of subtracting two years from your sentence, hey, I'm gonna add two on, okay? Give that your best shot." Meg/Raven said" Look, it wasn't my fault. What exactly happened here? I thought you were gonna persuade the river guardian to join my team for the uprising, and here I am, kind of river guardian-less." Meg/Raven said" I gave it my best shot, but he made me an offer I had to refuse." Fine. A couple of rodents looking for a theme park." Who you callin' a rodent, sister? I'm a bunny!" A-And I'm his gopher." Ta-dah!" I thought I smelled a rat." Hades said" Raven?" Speak of the devil." Raven, my little flower, my little bird, my little Rave. Meg/Raven went in the forest and she said" Aw, how cute.
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